The Significance of the Proposal

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Beyond my own ambitions and dreams for my lavish future lifestyle, a huge part of said life is eventually being married.

I want to have a husband. To the right man, I want to be a wife. Thus, at some point in that process, I hope, I will be proposed to. This brings me to one of my favorite fascinations of social culture: the proposal.

Though we all undoubtedly know what it is, a proposal is the event in which a boyfriend-girlfriend couple becomes a fiance-fiancee couple. The man gets down on his one knee, opens the ring box, and “pops” the question to his beloved.

In more recent years, we’ve begun to see the women of these relationships take on these roles. Now, if you want to propose to your man, by all means, go ahead! There’s nothing wrong with being a lover-girl if you so choose to do it. I will say, however, that I think it takes away from the depth of the concept and essence of the proposal to begin with.

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Bowing, in American culture, is not a thing. The U.S. has never been a monarchy, and it strongly rejects any form of rigid social structure and culture. With that in mind, getting on your knees, be it begging, pleading, praising, is held to a standard that conveys the utmost devotion to an idea or person.

Take the two parties involved. Man & woman. In woman’s existence, from the day of birth to the day of death, women are, for lack of better phrasing, “beneath” men. Through the lens of patriachry, our place is less-than. Femininity is considered weak. Our opinions and voices do not matter. We are given little to no respect in most, if not all, social settings.

These are not generalized statements. I do not mean that only in the grand scheme of things. It appears everywhere. From the boys in the back of the class who never listen to the one girl in their group who tells them what to do to the inability of most men to be vulnerable as emotions, specifically an awareness of them and a desire to understand them, present in a feminie matter.

Back to the proposals. To me, proposals represent the sole, singular instance in which a man bows to a woman. A grown man, mind you. This isn’t a regular feat. In day to day living, we see, time and again, the submission of women, both willingly and unwillingly, to our male counterparts of the human race. But not during a proposal.

This is what I believe has always played a major role in the percieved romance of the moment of proposal. It is this great act of love, honesty, and the only moment in which women are truly represented as “having the upper hand”.

There is real raw depth in getting down on one knee for someone. Some men don’t mean it. Others mean it with every atom in their body. Either way, it is no small feat. In fact, regardless of the intentions of the proposer, I find it a small victory for us women. :)