We shouldn’t all be feminists

3 min read

1 hour ago

Listen

Black Girls Matter — Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

When Chimamamanda Adichie rewrote the times and history with her groundbreaking essay titled “We should all be feminists”, I literally scrambled to get a dictionary to clearly define the word.

Alright you got me! I wanted to find the dents in the word.

I’ve heard the word several times but in reality, I never related to it. What does it mean to be a feminist?

To be hated and scorned…that is.

Speaking up for women has been scary because most women don’t want to be talked about. The black and blue faced housewife under the shadow of over layered make-up wants to stay gorgeous. Talk about the woman who’s on a fifty fifty parole with her spouse yet cheating seems historically and sarcastically allowed for the male gender.

Now you might be wondering, is this what feminists do? Poke their noses into marital affairs and disturb happy homes? Far from that. Permit me to define who a feminist is.

According to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a feminist is:

A person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

This definition comes from her famous TEDx talk and essay We Should All Be Feminists. Being a Feminist doesn’t only imply women advocating for equality, we have men who are feminists too.

Before you scrap the whole idea of feminism, I need you to understand that this concept was born out of a dominant patriarchal system that overlooked women and disregarded their existence. When women with voices couldn’t speak, when certain job opportunities were tagged men-only. When all the female gender could do was make a home. Beyond all odds, society has advanced into a different mindset.

Women don’t only make homes, they make Money. They not only set good examples, the lead for better and aspire for greatness.

Definitely, Feminist isn’t a one day affair. It was born out of women’s struggle against inequality, discrimination, and marginalization in all spheres of life. And it all stems from the subtle urge to make choices. Women have often been excluded from navigating their futures and the journey has been tough.

But we move….

Now back to our title. Becoming a feminist isn’t for everyone. I intensely followed an overly dramatic banter on TikTok where Feminists began a war of words. The whole concept suddenly became fierce when women began to call one another out over who was the most. Who did most and who should be regarded as a true feminist. Perhaps the ones that championed ‘Justice for Ochanya’ , the voices against child marriage and domestic violence.

Thinking back, we are yet realise that every feminist speaks in their own way and their actions shouldn’t be scrapped no matter how mild it is.

A Feminist is a feminist! It’s not a competition for who does the most.

Dear Feminist,

We are not at war with the world. We’re simply making the world accountable and setting boundaries on how women should be treated. We fight for women inclusion in societal growth. We speak for victims of domestic violence and remind women of the freedom they deserve. Holding women up for survival, teaching them the tenets of excellence and manifesting happy homes where respect, support and care is inclusive.

That is who Feminists are. So far I’ve heard people condemn feminists as home wreckers, tagging them as people who are against partnership. I’m here to remind you that extreme feminism isn’t the goal here and tagging men as the enemies isn’t the solution for a better society.

When we advocate female superiority and justify discrimination against men, we’ve ruled out the essence of being a Feminist.

Feminists love. They grow! They have families. They make happy homes. They are not monsters. They speak to ameliorate perilous situations and provide meritorious opportunities for women.

So tell a fellow feminist today that we’re not at war. It’s simply a revolution for a direction that favours women. Therefore, we should all be feminists.

Let’s keep rooting for that.