How to Handle Criticism Without Becoming Defensive
Psychology Today | 11.09.2026 23:43
Many people come into my office believing that defensiveness (one of the Gottmans’ dreaded four horsemen) is a personal failing; however, you may be relieved to learn that defensiveness is actually an evolutionary holdover rather than a character flaw. Historically, criticism signaled an enemy, so building defenses—sometimes even attacking them before they attacked you—was functional for survival. Unfortunately, that defensiveness is dysfunctional for love.
