UNORTHODOX

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A personal feminist reflection inspired by Unorthodox

Note- This piece is not a critique of culture, but a reflection on silence, freedom, and who gets heard.

Today I watched the limited series Unorthodox.
If you haven’t watched it yet, maybe do that first and then read this piece.

You know what I noticed in the series?
Whoever Esty (Esther Shapiro) met, they were kind to her. Helpful to her. Everyone outside her community helped her in some way. So it was a them problem, not a her problem.

Let me show you what I mean.

Her piano teacher — in their very first meeting — offered to teach her and helped her get away from that place.
The pawnshop owner, where Esty sold her jewellery, gave her a better deal. Why? Just because.
After reaching Berlin, the first guy she met became her closest friend and helped her in so many ways.
The friends she met through him also helped Esty in different ways, even though she offered nothing except her presence.
And I almost forgot the orchestra teacher in Berlin, who introduced her to the scholarship programme that could help her live there. She didn’t have to say much — he understood just by looking into her eyes that she needed help.

Can you see that?

Wherever she went, it felt like people were already present to help her. And the thing is, she didn’t have to use words — they heard her just by looking into her eyes.
Only the people from her own community — not a single one of them understood her. None of them offered the help she was so clearly and loudly asking for.

How ironic is that?
That community needed her more than she needed them, and still managed to fill her life with sorrow.

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In Williamsburg, everyone told her that there was a defect in her. The system was correct, the community was right, the husband was the king. But when she asked about her being a queen — that was impossible. There could be no queen.

Every culture has its own set of beliefs and rules, and I don’t want to comment on those.
What I do want to talk about is this: why, in almost every set of rules, women are the primary subjects of suffocation and boundaries. Why, in every system, women are the ones suffering the most.

When a rulebook is created for a community, it should be made keeping the comfort and diversity of all genders in mind. But most of the time, it supports men — and is made by them as well.

I’m even willing to give the benefit of doubt — that when men created these regulations, they couldn’t fully think from a female perspective, which is why they turned out so biased and uncomfortable for women.

But if you say you are a community for me and for people like me, then include me when you create those rules. Include both men and women when deciding how a community should function and what beliefs it should follow.

It’s high time humans understood that women have the same right as men to live freely. Women shouldn’t have to fight for every single right — rights that are normal, basic, and should be equal for every human being.

I get it — men went to wars and endured hardship. But does that mean women should be kept under a robe until one day they realise it’s not normal and start protesting?
And then get thrashed for demanding the removal of a rule made only for women?
After enduring mental and physical torture, they are finally understood.

Women are made to settle for so much that their war never really ends.

So yes, men went to wars — but women are still at war.
The generation before us lived and died in the same war zone, some fighting, some surrendering. And sadly, the generation after us will also be born into it — forced to live, fight, and survive.

Feminism doesn’t mean being feminine, or something meant only for women.
It means equality.
Equality is for all of us. Feminism is for everyone — and it benefits everyone.