Preamble The privileges enumerated herein are retained by some people, specifically those possessing extraordinary concentrations of wealth, capital, and political influence. All others are governed accordingly.
Article I
The billionaire class shall enjoy absolute freedom of speech, press, assembly, and petition, especially through ownership of media platforms, lobbying firms, and algorithmic amplification. Speech by others may be regulated in the interests of stability, markets, or donor confidence.
Article II
The billionaire class shall retain the unrestricted right to fund, influence, and arm political movements, security services, and private interests. The security of their property and assets shall take precedence over public safety considerations.
Article III
No billionaire shall be required to house the consequences of their actions, whether economic, environmental, or social, during times of peace or crisis, without their explicit consent. Such consequences may instead be quartered among the working population.
Article IV
The billionaire class shall be secure in their persons, properties, data, offshore accounts, and tax arrangements. Search, seizure, audit, or scrutiny shall require extraordinary justification, and shall rarely be granted.
Article V
No billionaire shall be deprived of wealth, influence, or corporate personhood without due process consisting of prolonged litigation, regulatory capture, and negotiated settlements. Fines shall be treated as operational costs.
Article VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the billionaire shall enjoy the right to elite legal counsel, indefinite delay, non disclosure agreements, and jurisdictional complexity. The accused shall not be compelled to testify, especially before Congress, without first consulting public relations teams.
Article VII
The right to trial by jury shall be preserved, provided the jury is inaccessible, exhausted, financially strained, or replaced by arbitration.
Article VIII
Excessive fines shall not be imposed on the billionaire class, nor excessive punishment inflicted. Punishments, if any, shall be monetary, deductible, and survivable without lifestyle disruption.
Article IX
The enumeration of certain privileges herein shall not be construed to deny or disparage other privileges retained by the billionaire class, whether written, unwritten, inherited, or quietly negotiated.
Article X
All powers not explicitly granted to the billionaire class are reserved to corporations, financial institutions, and international markets, or deferred indefinitely.
Closing Observation
We hold these privileges to be self evident, that some people are more equal than others, and that government exists chiefly to protect capital from democracy, rather than democracy from capital.
