I Struggle With Being Aromantic

Identities and the struggles of accepting them

4 min read

Just now

I’ve not gone into too much depth about my experiences as someone who is aromantic, that is, someone who doesn’t experience much of a desire to engage in romantic relationships. Part of this is because I don’t feel there is a great deal to say; I’ve only been on maybe three or four dates in my life, and none of them amounted to anything. This didn’t other me then, and it mostly doesn’t bother me now. Being aromantic doesn’t upset me, nor do I wish I weren’t aromantic.

However, I do struggle with some aspects of being aromantic, things that can make it a bit more difficult than it should be. Perhaps the most obvious is that we live in a society where romantic relationships are such a core part of how we are expected to live our lives. From the time we are young, people obsess over romantic relationships and the need to find love. We are bombarded with media messaging that stresses the importance of finding a relationship/marriage as a means of having a fulfilling life.

For someone like me who does not have this desire, it can make things difficult. Virtually everyone else is either dating/married or pursuing a relationship with the goal of ultimately settling down with them, and this makes up a huge part of their identity and sense of self. People desire…