The Great Betrayal: How You Are Sabotaging Your Own Existence
Let’s be honest for a second. You are not tired. You are not "busy." You are not "waiting for the right sign."

Yasir Arfat

8 min read

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1 hour ago

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You are hiding.

You are hiding from your potential because you are terrified of what it will cost you to become the person you dream about. You want the glory, but you don't want the guts. You want the view from the top of the mountain, but you complain about the stones in your shoes.

Let’s break down the lies, one by one.

1. The "Someday" Syndrome: A Lie You Tell to Feel Safe
How many times have you said this to yourself?

"I will start on Monday."

"I will do it when I have more money."

"I will do it when I feel ready."

Let me tell you a secret that might shatter your heart:

"Someday is not a day of the week."

You treat time as if you have an infinite supply of it in your bank account. You spend hours scrolling through videos of cats and people dancing, while your dreams gather dust in the corner. You think you are pausing life, but life is not a movie player. There is no pause button.

Every time you say "later," you are actually saying "never."

Your brain is designed to keep you safe, not successful. It loves the comfort zone. It loves the couch. When you think about doing something hard—like starting that business, asking that person out, or going to the gym—your brain screams "Danger!" and you retreat to your phone.

You are waiting for motivation to strike you like lightning. But here is the cold truth:

"Action comes before motivation, not after."

You don't run because you feel like running. You run, and then you feel like a runner. You are waiting for a feeling that will never come unless you move your body first. You are the architect of your own procrastination.

** The Reality Check:** Stop acting like you have 500 years to live. If you knew you would die in one year, would you still be scrolling through Facebook right now? No. You would be living. So why are you acting like you are immortal?

2. The Social Media Masquerade: Drinking Poison and Expecting to Live
We need to talk about the phone in your hand.

You look at other people's lives online, and then you look at your own messy reality. You see their vacation photos, their new cars, their perfect relationships, and you feel a heavy stone in your chest. You ask yourself:

"Why is everyone so happy except me?"

"Why am I so behind in life?"

Let me slap some sense into you. You are comparing your "Behind-The-Scenes" footage with their "Movie Trailer."

You see their smile in the photo; you don't see the antidepressant pills on their nightstand. You see their new car; you don't see the massive loan debt that keeps them awake at night. You see their romantic dinner; you don't see the argument they had in the car five minutes before the picture was taken.

You are drinking poison every day and wondering why you feel sick.

We have become a generation of beggars. We beg for attention. We beg for likes. We post a picture and then check our phone every two minutes to see if anyone validated our existence.

"If I don't post it, did it even happen?"

Yes, it happened! And it would have been more beautiful if you had just experienced it with your eyes instead of a camera lens.

When you seek validation from strangers, you give them the remote control to your emotions. One bad comment ruins your day. One lack of "likes" makes you feel ugly. You have become a slave to an algorithm.

The Reality Check: Your self-worth is not a number on a screen. Disconnect to reconnect. The next time you go out, leave the phone in your pocket. Be invisible to the world, but visible to yourself.

3. The Addiction to Comfort: Why You Are So Fragile
We have become soft.

We have air conditioning, food delivery, instant entertainment, and soft beds. We have removed all "friction" from our lives. And because of this, when a tiny problem hits us, we shatter like glass.

You avoid difficult conversations because they are uncomfortable. You avoid exercise because it is uncomfortable. You avoid learning a new skill because feeling stupid is uncomfortable.

"Growth only happens in the state of discomfort."

You want muscles? You have to tear the fibers. You want wisdom? You have to fail and look like a fool. You want a strong relationship? You have to have the hard, crying, screaming conversations.

You are praying for an easy life, but an easy life creates weak humans.

Think about a diamond. It is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well. You are running away from the very pressure that could turn you into a diamond. You are choosing to remain a piece of charcoal because it is "easier."

You say you are stressed. Good. Stress means you are challenging your limits. You say you are tired. Good. That means you are using your energy. Stop trying to sedate yourself with Netflix and food every time life gets hard.

The Reality Check: Do one thing every day that sucks. Take a cold shower. Run until your lungs burn. Sit in silence with your own dark thoughts. Toughen up. The world does not owe you a pillow; it owes you a battlefield.

4. The Ego Trap in Relationships: Winning the Battle, Losing the War
Let’s talk about how you treat people.

We have forgotten how to listen. We don't listen to understand; we listen to reply. When someone is talking to you, you are already rehearsing your comeback in your head.

You treat relationships like a transaction.

"What can I get from this person?"

"If I do this, what will they do for me?"

This is why you are lonely even when you are with people. You are protected by a wall of Ego. When you fight with your partner, your goal is to win. You want to prove them wrong. You want to hear them say, "You are right, I am sorry."

Congratulations, you won the argument. But look at their face. Look at the distance you just created.

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"Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"

You cannot have both.

We are quick to judge and slow to forgive. We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.

When you are late, it’s because there was traffic (good intention). When they are late, it’s because they are irresponsible (bad action). See the hypocrisy?

You hold onto grudges like they are treasures. You drink the poison of anger and expect the other person to die. Forgiveness is not for them; it is for you. It is letting go of a hot coal that is burning your hand.

The Reality Check: Drop the Ego. Be the first to say sorry. Be the first to smile. Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room and try to be the kindest. People will forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

5. The Myth of "Finding Your Passion": Stop Looking Under Rocks
You are sitting there, confused, thinking:

"I just haven't found my passion yet."

"I don't know what my purpose is."

Stop it. You are not going to find your purpose hiding under a rock or written in the sky. Purpose is not something you find; it is something you build.

You are waiting for a magical lightning bolt to hit you and tell you, "You were born to paint!" or "You were born to code!" It doesn't work that way.

Passion comes from mastery. When you work hard at something, when you struggle with it, and then start to get good at it—that is when passion ignites. You are not passionate because you are good; you become passionate because you put in the effort to become good.

You are bored because you are not committing to anything. You try something for two weeks, it gets hard, and you quit, saying, "This isn't my passion."

No, you are just lazy.

"Passion is the reward for patience and pain."

You want the reward without the work. You want to be the CEO without the sleepless nights. You want to be the writer without the rejection letters.

The Reality Check: Pick something. Anything. And do it to the best of your ability. Treat the small job like it is a big job. If you are sweeping the floor, sweep it like you are Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Purpose follows action.

6. The Illusion of Control: Trying to Tame the Ocean
You are an overthinker.

You create scenarios in your head that have not happened yet. You worry about 50 different outcomes. You try to control every variable of your life.

"If I plan everything perfectly, nothing will go wrong."

Life laughs at your plans.

You cannot control the weather, the economy, the traffic, or what other people think of you. The more you try to control the uncontrollable, the more anxious you become. You are like a man standing on the beach trying to hold back the waves with a bucket.

The only thing you can control is your reaction.

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice."

When tragedy strikes—and it will strike—you have two choices. You can play the victim and say, "Why me?" Or you can play the survivor and say, "What now?"

The victim mentality is seductive. It feels good to blame your parents, your government, your ex-partner, or your lack of money. It takes the responsibility off your shoulders. But it also takes away your power. If they are the reason you are miserable, then they are the only ones who can fix it. Do you really want to give them that power?

The Reality Check: Accept the chaos. Surrender to the fact that you know nothing about what tomorrow holds. The only thing you have is Now. Stop living in the wreckage of the past or the fantasy of the future. Be here.

7. The Final Truth: You Are Dying
This is the hardest pill to swallow.

We live with a denial of death. We act as if we will be here forever. But look at the clock.

"Tick. Tick. Tick."

That is not just sound. That is your life slipping away.

Every second that passes is a second you will never get back. You sold that second. What did you buy with it? Did you buy worry? Did you buy anger? Did you buy mindless scrolling?

One day, your name will be spoken for the last time. One day, your phone will ring and you won't answer. One day, your clothes will be packed into boxes and given away.

Does that scare you? It should. But it should also wake you up.

If you knew you had one week left, would you care about that embarrassing thing you did five years ago? Would you care about what your neighbor thinks of your car? Would you hold a grudge against your brother?

No. You would focus on what matters. You would say "I love you." You would watch the sunset. You would eat the cake. You would laugh.

So why aren't you doing that now?

"You are not running out of money; you are running out of time."

We are all on a sinking ship called Life. The water is rising. You can scream and panic, or you can dance and help others while the music plays.

The Final Wake-Up Call:

Stop sleepwalking through your existence.

You are not a victim. You are not a helpless child. You are a powerful, capable human being who has been conditioned to be small.

Break the chains.

Put down the phone. Look your loved ones in the eye. Do the hard work. Forgive the enemy. Laugh at the confusion.

This is it. This is the show. There is no rehearsal.

Go out there and make it count. Before the curtain falls.