Psychology Today | 31.08.2026 23:05
I've been thinking about the term "mercy sex." It's not a very appealing phrase. It sounds like someone reluctantly giving in, perhaps rolling their eyes and waiting for it to be over. People bring up mercy sex in my therapy room pretty regularly. They tell me they don't want to give mercy sex, and they don't want to receive it, either. Of course, nobody wants sex that feels dutiful, resentful, or emotionally absent. But there is also something idealistic about the expectation that two people, particularly two people who have been together for years, will want the same amount of sex at the same times. In fact, usually, they won't.
