I Thought a Happy Retirement Meant Coffee Chats, Walks, & Naps. My Pa Blew Me Away.

… And got me thinking

4 min read

1 hour ago

Pa was 57 when he retired.

He had to. Then, my Mum got diagnosed with breast cancer. She needed someone around. Pa and I decided that I would work to support the family while he attended to Mum.

It would be 1.5 years later before he genuinely retired.

Mum would eventually recover from her therapies and devote herself unconditionally to taichi training. How and why, I never knew.

Pa was finally free to pursue his Golden Years… the way he wanted.

An initial rough patch

Pa struggled.

He had no idea what to do with his retirement.

Earlier, it helped that he had Mum to pay attention to. Shuttling her to the hospital kills time. Waiting kills time. Speaking to therapists and doctors killed him. Shuttling home kills time. Cooking kills time.

Time passes faster than Pa was at home.

Pa had no mental bandwidth to think about spending time. He had a daily caretaking target. That kept him occupied.

Then Mum recovered. She found him unbelievably naggy and decided to pursue her interests…