Stop telling women our expectations are too high. And no, feminists aren’t looking for the TikTok’s version of the high-effort man.

Medium | 29.12.2025 22:17

Stop telling women our expectations are too high. And no, feminists aren’t looking for the TikTok’s version of the high-effort man.

Rae.

2 min read

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1 hour ago

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Women keep having garbage thrown down our necks, from hetero-pessimism to the anti-feminist high-effort man. We’re not pessimistic; it takes responsibility to date from a distance. Men have been far too used to one-sided instant gratification, from one-night stands to fûckboi ego-boosting flirting and all the sexual harassment in between. It’s no wonder women took to distance dating for safety and to find a man willing to invest equal effort. I once told a guy, “I’d rather get to know you a little first.” His reply was, “I’m not investing effort into getting to know someone if I’m not going to get anything out of it at the end.” Ikr, what a moron. Like getting to know someone isn’t valuable. And it’s that kind of shîtty behaviour men have brought to the online arena that has put women off dating once again.

The whole point of life is doing what’s right, not what’s easy.

  • Trent Dalton

Feminists aren’t looking for the TikTok’s Princess treatment. We’re looking for equal effort, because we’ve seen what our grandparents and beyond had to put up with. Modern day, men are still conditioned to believe it’s a woman’s job to take care of the house and the children while also contributing to the household financially; that isn’t the definition of equality. And that’s not even including emotional labour; no guys, we don’t want to be your unpaid therapist.

Men keep throwing around

“50/50" as if pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, the mental load, emotional labor, and survival are a shared burden.

It was never 50/50. A woman’s body and her mental health already paid full price. Ifyou want equality, match her responsibility, not just her bills

- Fifty Shades of Tired

Feminism isn’t ruining marriage, nor the prospect of marriage, misogyny is. Feminism is just giving women choice including the choice to leave. And until men level up, women are going to stay happily single until they find Mr Responsible!