THE FUSE

In the last article, I discussed the deep-seated fear associated with telling the truth and why disruption and potential loss of connection in a relationship can feel like death. And furthermore, why these fears are so deep in our wiring; why our nervous system goes on high alert at the idea of sharing an unwanted truth, often when the threat we feel doesn’t match the reality of the situation. At the root of our unwillingness to tell the truth is our strongest and most primal drive—the drive to survive. Put simply, we want to stay alive, and so we learn to alter our truth to make other people happy, which then makes other people want to be around us and love us. If other people stay, we’re safe—we will survive.