THE FUSE

Being a “people pleaser” doesn’t sound so bad. The term suggests a willingness to make others happy, being considerate and generous, and being aware of others’ needs. But, as you may already have gathered, the real story is quite a bit more complicated. Decades of research in social psychology suggest that trying too hard to keep other people happy can become a self-defeating pattern — a persistent habit that can sometimes hurt as much as it helps. Although people-pleasing may be intended to protect your relationships, your mental health, and even your identity, it can actually end up undermining them instead.