The Equality Inequality Paradox: Women's Emancipation in Third World Countries is Not Possible Until Educated Women Change their Mind

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INTRODUCTION
We often talk of women empowerment which consists of achievement of their equality in family , property, education, jobs, salary, social recognition and many more . It also includes “equal dignity” of women as human beings vis-a-vis men in a male dominated world . For this social reformers have been fighting for centuries. Such social reformers in India include Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Dr.B.R.Ambedkar, Nehru, Jyotiroa Phule , Fatima Sheikh, and in Europe led by thinkers like J.S.Mill(The Subjection Of Women) ,Mary Wollstonecraft (Vindication of the Rights of Woman) and Simone de Beauvoir (The Second Sex) to activists like Susan B. Anthony (suffrage), Angela Davis (civil rights/feminism), and modern figures like Malala Yousafzai (girls' education) and Tarana Burke etc.

For the empowerment and emancipation of women in society, governments in various countries took numerous institutional steps ranging from women’s educational empowerment and to reservation in jobs , educational institutions etc. to laws passed for equal pay, maternity leave , and punishments against social discrimination, evil stereotypical practices like sati prata, dowry, infenticide of girl child, rape and the violence they face in society as well as in domestic sphere . Although women’s equality, emancipation and empowerment gained significant success in Europe and Western countries due to various a3aà22 sa àgrassroot feminist movements, government institutional policies, and education & awareness, and a breakdown of patriarchal mindset in society etc. but in the third world countries, women’s euquality is far from reality. This is attributed partly due to the perpetual patriarchal mindset of men, the insignificant grassroot success of feminist movements, yet one of the key reasons for its failure are women themselves. This refers to those women who are not uneducated women but women who are educated, have awareness of the cause of women’s equality and empowerment, and even women who are feminists . The mindset and selection of life partners is based on patriarchy and domination.

THE EQUALITY INEQUALITY PARADOX:The Case of Choosing Life Partners-

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Educated women in India most often choose men who are either more in age , or have a higher position than them, or more successful than them, smarter than them , taller than them or have dominating masculine characteristics. These educated women, or feminists ironically prefer men who can physically and psychologically dominate them, have a patriarchal mindset or have a position more significant than them. They also prefer tall boys , this means “they want to be under the shadow and protection of someone else and claim that this is natural , at the same time they want equality and equal dignity and respect from men and society”. On the other hand most of the men want a submissive partner, an unequal partner whom they can dominate physically and mentally. One who conforms to them, one who obeys them, and one who never questions them, even if they oppress them . This is the “equality, inequality paradox” wherein women want a society in which they are treated as equal beings , yet they choose their partners who can dominate them, and enter into unequal bonds of marriage or partnerships , which is the preferred form of partnership for men in a patriarchal society, which perpetuates inequality of women, making the job of dominating women easy for them. This also has consequences because men who are simple , who respect women , who consider women to have equal dignity, are not preferred and this leads to anti feminist sentiments from such men after observing the nature and reality of women.

In such unequal partnerships women claim it is natural to choose their partners , and they have full rights to choose their partners in any way and anyone based on free will and claiming it is natural for them to choose such dominating men , but this free will and claim of ‘natural’ perpetuates inequality first inside the house , and then in society where men always dominates as per the nature, where men are the bread earners or owners of house and women the bearers of their children inside the house.

VIEWS OF J.S.MILL ON EQUAL MALE FEMALE PARTNERSHIP

J.S.Mill in his book “The Subjection Of Women” raised concerns about “unequal partnerships” in marriage as the main cause of women's miserable position in society, yet he gave solutions to such misery. He suggested that equal dignity of women can only be established in society when people enter into such marriage which is based on “spousal friendship” and “equal partnership”, besides having other rights such as right to vote , right to hold property, and the right to participate in public places etc. Thus his main concern was regarding marriage and equal partnership in marriage for establishing women’s equality, dignity and empowering women to equal beings .

THE SOLUTION

Educated women in order to change society, in order to claim equal dignity for the women as a whole , they should first change their thinking and start respecting and choosing equal partners in marriage. They should detach themselves from depending on men, and truly establish themselves as “strong independent women” in the practical sense by respecting equality and accepting equality not for others, but for themselves. They should start enter into marriage based on “spousal friendship” where they can be respected by their men, not dominated by them . They should choose such partners which are equal in their position be it their social, economic, physical, emotional or others characteristics. Once the educated women establish equality in family and society for themselves, then they can fight for other women who are uneducated, who are not even aware that they are equal beings as mentioned and their worth is not defined by their men , but by their own identity. Also men should accept women as equal beings and respect their dignity not simply as their wives , the bearers of children, but as equal human beings. If such a change can be brought in society, emancipation of women will become easy and we will reach in such a position where women will be respected and treated as equals in society. Men should enter into marriages and choose partners who are equals , this will lead to their advantage of being learning from females and at the same time establishing equality for women in society which could be for their daughters, sisters , and other women .