“Why are women tired even when they are allowed to work?”

Anshika Pandey

2 min read

·

1 hour ago

--

Listen

Share

Before I start, I would like to ask a question: What does freedom mean if it comes with conditions?

Across the world, women are told: study, work, dream big. They are told that they can make their own decisions—but does anyone ask, at what cost?

Most families think they are progressive—that they allowed their daughters to study and work, and create their own identity in the world. But the real question lies within this word: allowed.When families seek an arranged marriage, they very proudly tell the family of the bride that they will allow her to work after marriage…as long as she cooks before leaving, returns home by evening to cook again, and is ready to quit once children arrive.

Many of us saw our mothers doing it without ever naming it.

Nobody talks about the invisible labor that comes with it: the mental load, the expectations to be grateful and the emotional labor of being “independent” while still bound by restrictions.

The question, I want to ask is this: who gave the world the authority to grant permission to women for something as basic as wearing Western clothes, studying and working? Is it empowerment if it can be taken away at any moment?

Allowing someone is not supporting them, encouragement shouldn’t come without redistribution of labor and independence shouldn’t come with constant negotiation.

This is why women are tired—they are expected to shoulder the responsibilities of an entire household along with their professional careers, with no help. Because asking for help would mean being incompetent, burnout would be framed as personal weakness and exhaustion would be labelled as less ambition.

It’s high time that we make women feel safe about having ambitions, letting them know that fulfilling their dreams shouldn’t come with such emotional baggage and self erasure. Real progress comes from support, not from permission. True independence begins when permission ends.

If this resonates with you, feel free to clap and share your thoughts.