“We Are All Worthy”: The Message James Van Der Beek Left Behind
Good Things Guy | 12.02.2026 11:52
For many Millennials and Gen Xers, even here in South Africa, James Van Der Beek was part of our growing up, our late-night conversations, and our first lessons about identity, love and belonging.
Global (12 February 2026) – “I am worthy of God’s love. Simply because I exist. And if I am worthy of God’s love. Should I not be worthy of my own?”
I woke to the news that James Van Der Beek passed away late last night (South African time). At first, I was confused. And had to do a fact check. A “Buffy Fans” page had posted a photo of him and Sarah Michelle Gellar, with a tribute to his life. The new “Buffy” series is in production, and I have been following that story, so obviously the algorithms are doing what they do.
Once I confirmed it, I cried. A proper heartsore cry. Like I had just lost a friend.
Ja, parasocial was one of the words of the year last year (a one-sided, unreciprocated sense of intimacy felt by a fan or follower for a well-known or prominent figure, in which the fan or follower comes to feel that they know the celebrity as a friend).
But this wasn’t parasocial. Or at least, it didn’t feel like it.
James Van Der Beek was a Millennial/Gen Xer’s friend. A best friend. We grew up with Dawson. You see, TV was different back then. Look at me throwing out my age with the “back then” quote… but it really was. We didn’t have millions of channels or shows. Not in South Africa, anyway. And the shows we had, we had to wait for. There was no mass binge. Series were also longer. We would wait every week for an episode of our favourite series, and those shows would be with us for (sometimes) half a year. That’s a lot of time we would get to spend with our favourite characters. And then, when we got to school the next day, we would ALL be talking about the episode. Because we were all watching the same thing.
Dawson’s Creek ran congruently with my transition from high school to adulthood. The way they spoke was so eloquent. Hyper articulate. The show made me want to have conversations like them. I think I even spent a whole year perfecting my “half-smile” like Joey. And I bladdy loved Pacey. Jen made me realise that we’re all just “outsiders”. Jack helped me see me, in a world that didn’t have any “me” on TV. Hard crush on him. And Dawson, well he was the show.
Fast forward to just 2 years ago, and James Van Der Beek announced that he had cancer. He hadn’t told the public for a year. He then used his platform to document what he was going through. To show us. And to raise awareness about getting checked early.
In March last year, he posted an incredibly vulnerable video.
He shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to “the ultimate” identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.
“I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we’re so lucky to live on,” he said.
“And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, ‘Who am I? What am I?'”
“And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye, I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn’t working. I couldn’t even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you’re supposed to prune them.”
He found himself facing the question: “If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?”
“And I meditated and the answer came through.”
“I am worthy of God’s love, simply because I exist. And if I’m worthy of God’s love, shouldn’t I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you.”
Incredibly powerful words.
I am so sad for someone I didn’t even know. So yes, totally parasocial. But James Van Der Beek, Dawson… did feel like a friend. That series helped me navigate high school. And his last few years made me look at adulthood. And I guess when someone passes, we revisit our own grief for those we have loved and lost. We look at our own mortality. And our own lives.
In the hours following James’s passing, a crowdfunding campaign was launched to support his wife, Kimberly, and their six children. In just 7 hours, $1,030,777 (over R16 million) has been raised from people around the world. The funds will help cover living expenses, education, and stability for a family navigating the unimaginable, and it feels like a collective way of saying thank you.
Thank you, James Van Der Beek, for being part of my life. Even though you had no clue (that you were part of my life). I am sure there are many people around the world who feel the same as me.
I think I’m going to start rewatching Dawson’s Creek today.
“I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over, I want to know right now what will it be… I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over. Will it be yes or will it be sorry?”
It’s a yes friend, we are all worthy.
Okay. Love you.
*No Bye’s when we talk about someone’s death.
