Autism: The Signs I Never Noticed

Forty-one years of living on the spectrum without knowing it.

Aga Byrczek

10 min read

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Just now

How come a person can live for 41 years on the autism spectrum and not realize it? Well… it’s possible — and it happens more often than you might think. This is the story of my life.

After getting the diagnosis, I was still skeptical. What if my diagnosis was influenced by culture, since it was made in a country and language different from my own? What if it was influenced by my general mental health, since I went through mobbing, was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD? And what if my neurodivergence was simply related to high intellectual potential, and not a case of being 2e*?

I’m still doubting, even after going through an official evaluation for neurodivergence (not only autism). I completed a total of 18 different tests — the whole process took about 15 hours. I met with two psychologists, and at the end, my psychiatrist reviewed all the results and confirmed that the process was thorough and every test relevant.

It’s now three months since the diagnosis, and over time, I see more clearly that it wasn’t a mistake. In fact, there were so many signs throughout my life pointing to it. I just missed them — or didn’t fully understand what autism really is, so I couldn’t recognize it.