Would You be a Feminist or a Lover Girl?
Medium | 31.12.2025 18:02
Would You be a Feminist or a Lover Girl?
Come read why softness doesn’t mean you have failed standing firm on your power
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It was festive season, soft lights, joy in the air, small moments of happiness people usually share without thinking twice. I posted my partner on my WhatsApp status. Nothing dramatic, just presence and a few thank you for the happiest year. And then the comments started coming in. “Dammy, aren’t you a feminist? So, you actually have a man? I thought you hate men?” I read them slowly, almost amused until it hit me that do they think I’m a misandrist?
People weren’t surprised that I was in a relationship; they were disturbed. Disturbed that a woman who speaks boldly, challenges patriarchy, and questions power structures could also be loved, and choose love. I responded with stickers and emojis, then posted again, asking where I had ever said that I hated men. No one responded.
Somewhere along the way, society decided women must choose. You’re either a feminist loud, angry, independent, hard to love, or you’re a lover girl — soft, romantic, gentle, dreamy, always waiting for love to save you. Apparently, you can’t be both, and honestly, that’s one of the biggest lies sold to women.
