Growing up native

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As a young native woman who grew up in foster care, there’s a lot to take in, especially when it comes to racism.

Growing up I never understood the concept of race and culture, it never mattered, no one saw it as an issue, just a person with a heart and mind like everybody else, no stereotypes, just kids being kids, but this all changed when i reached an age where i learned about culture.

I remember a group of boys were talking about how bad native people were and that they were all druggies, they didn’t know I was native and I became ashamed of my culture, pretending I was someone who I wasn’t, lots of people thought I was Mexican, Filipino etc but I never told people who I really was to protect myself.

As I got older and reached teenage years, the racism got worse, and living in Canada didn’t help much because there are a lot of natives, no one wanted to be my friend because they thought I would steal from them or jump them, everyone wanted to know why I didn’t live with my real parents, and a didn’t want to say because they were drug addicts because people would hate me even more.

As high school came fast, the racism didn’t stop, I have been told to kill myself because of my race, I’ve been told I will never get anywhere in life and much more, I tried to not let it get to me but I became extremely depressed, not wanting to go to school or anything, people were cruel.

The last little bit of my year in grade 9, my mom past away over drug use, and that ruined my whole life, knowing that the thing everyone was saying as a stereotypical term came true in my life, I was ashamed that it was true, that my people are all the same.

I soon realized that I have to beat the stereotypes, and break generational trauma, make people see that my people are who they think they are, my culture is so beautiful and I’m disappointed that it took me so long to realize that.