On Choosing My Parents’ Name

On Choosing My Parents’ Name

I’ve decided to retain my father’s surname in perpetuity.
It’s not a decision made lightly. It’s not about rebellion against tradition. It’s about honor, gratitude, and clarity.
There are several reasons why this matters to me:
1. My parents gave me everything.
They are the most loving, intentional parents I know. Both gave me their all, with presence, attention, and unwavering support. Their care wasn’t partial, and their love wasn’t conditional. In a world where children often feel pulled in opposite directions, I never had to choose between them, because they presented a united front.

2. Keeping their name is a mark of honor.
I keep their surname not as a rebellion against tradition as a woman, but as a conscious acknowledgment of my parents’ efforts.

I honor their sacrifices, their guidance, and the richness of the childhood they gave me, a childhood filled with kindness, generosity, and emotional availability. This choice is not symbolic; it is a living recognition of their presence in my life.

3. Life is unpredictable, but parents remain a constant.
Many aspects of life shift: relationships, opportunities, priorities. But the truth remains: the love and care of my parents have been steadfast. In a world defined by impermanence, that is a foundation I choose to carry forward in my name.

4. What I want my name to represent.
Some names open financial doors, some carry prestige. My parents’ name will be my symbol of unconditional love.

That is what I want it to evoke whenever it is spoken, written, or seen. Their presence, their values, their devotion are what I carry in every interaction, every endeavor, every relationship. I want my name to reflect that truth.

I share this not for public approval or validation, but to reflect on the power of intentional choices. Names carry history, identity, and legacy. Keeping this one is my way of honoring the people who gave me everything and asking nothing in return.

Call me Mary Ojelabi.