I’m Just a Straight Girl Who Organized a Secret Gay Wedding

In 2025, two men together for years still can’t tell their families, WHO KNOW THEY’RE GAY, about the marriage

9 min read

1 hour ago

When I grow up, I want to be like Tom and Vincent. If I could have just a spec of their impeccable approach to daily life, I could shift from the Hot Mess Express that I am to perhaps your average sluggard.

I’m mildly successful, but you wouldn’t know by the sad state of my car. It’s bad — teenage boy with ADHD bad, minus actual food under the seats. I have my standards.

This is why when Tom and Vincent invite me over for our monthly Spicy Margarita Night — T &V, 6pm Sat, goes right in my day-planner in bright red ink.

Ah, to sit at their kitchen island, on a high-backed stool as comfortable as a La-Z-Boy, as they buzz around the kitchen making miracles.

Last weeks guacamole was perfection. Vincent used a mortar and pestle, a mandolin, a lime squeezer that looked like a power tool, and a huge knife to chop the red onion into microscopic pieces.

“This gives the suggestion of onion without tasting like onion,” I was informed.

I’d brought a guest — Raquel. We moaned our way through the guac and margaritas as she…