Marriage, But Make It Marketable

How society keeps rebranding unpaid female labor as “being a good wife

4 min read

3 hours ago

I turned 26 recently, and apparently, that is the official age for late notice, when Nigerian aunties receive an alert on their internal marriage radar that says, “THIS ONE IS OLD AND ISN’T MARRIED OOH, COME HELP!!!” I do not know where the headquarters of this radar is located, but the signal is strong. Strong enough that my father has now joined the campaign. Every conversation ends with, Just find a man and marry. As if men are small handkerchiefs you pick up at the roundabout.

To hear them talk, you would think marriage is a simple functional home appliance, something like a blender. Plug it in, press a button, and a peaceful, fulfilled life drops out. But somehow, nobody tells you that your functional blender works whenever it feels like it, might even chop your fingers, and occasionally sets your house on fire.

The funniest part of this whole charade is this. It is men who ultimately get to decide when marriage is ready to happen, but it is women who are dragged, policed, shamed, and emotionally blackmailed into preparing for it. Society behaves like a man waking up one random Sunday morning and deciding, I’m ready to marry, is an act of some saintly bravery. Meanwhile, a woman showing the slightest sign of…