THE FUSE

Societal scripts try to convince us that if we achieve [fill in the blank], we’ll finally feel worthy: If we get married, or promoted, or lose weight. Yet, those who achieve these societal trophies often only feel worse. There’s even a scientific term for this dynamic: the arrival fallacy. Dr. Ben Shaar, who created the term, described how people feel when they achieve big goals, “This time, they’re unhappy, but more than that they’re unhappy without hope. Because before they lived under the illusion—well, the false hope—that once they make it, then they’ll be happy.”