Thoughts & Prayers:

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Going to see a Horse about a Gun

Y’all remember that episode of Bojack Horseman?

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The one that opens on the doomed production of an action movie called Ms. Taken, a hyper-violent blockbuster that keeps getting delayed because real-world mass shootings keep occurring in settings that look uncomfortably like the film itself. Every attempt to release it runs headlong into the politics of violence colliding with actual tragedy.

It reminds me of how Lilo & Stitch quietly altered its ending after 9/11 — swapping a 747 weaving through city buildings for a spaceship flying through mountains, just to avoid the potential resemblance. Same instinct. Same anxiety. Culture flinching in real time.

You get the picture.

The movie’s star, Courtney Portnoy, sums it up in fluent ’Murica:

“It’s so sad! You always hear about mass shootings affecting other people’s movie openings, but you never think they’re going to affect your movie opening!”

Meanwhile, Diane Nguyen, writer, moral compass, and professional buzzkill, is assigned to interview Courtney. Afterward, the two leave the restaurant and are harassed by a valet. Courtney responds by pulling a gun from her purse. The valet backs off. Diane is stunned, and fascinated.

The too-long-didn’t-read version: Diane buys a gun.

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She writes an article for Girl Croosh about how owning a firearm makes her feel newly empowered and how it gives her a sense of balance in a world that routinely endangers women. The piece goes viral. Women everywhere are inspired. They arm up.

And then, of course, there’s another mass shooting.

But this time the shooter is a woman.

Cue the state senate hearings. A parade of experts debate who guns are meant for (spoiler: not women, according to one man’s very serious thoughts about the female grip coupled with their temperament). Diane proposes two options:

One: if lawmakers are uncomfortable with women carrying guns, maybe men could, oh I dunno, DO THE WORK and actually build a society where women feel safe and equal without feeling like they need to be armed.

Two: ban all guns.

By the end of the session, California votes to outlaw firearm possession entirely.

Diane’s takeaway is devastating in its simplicity:

“I can’t believe this country hates women more than it loves guns.”

And that’s (one thing) that has been rattling around in my head lately as I watch parts of the 2A crowd insist that being armed and (potentially) liberal means you’re inherently dangerous.

I can’t believe this country hates liberals more than it loves guns.