Being Likable Won’t Save You, So Be an Absolute Menace

Renee Good was kind. They still killed her.

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Women learn early in our lives that we have to be polite as a precaution. We have to be kind when rejecting a potential suitor. We have to be extra-nice when speaking up for ourselves at work. We have to make sure that we are, above all else, likable.

There are reasons. A rejection that isn’t seen as nice or ambiguous could make a man angry enough to hurt us at best or kill us at worst. If we’re too direct when advocating for ourselves or our careers, it could be seen as aggressive and count as a mark against us when it comes to future opportunities. We’ve learned that survival depends on how nice we’re perceived.

And we just learned that it doesn’t even fucking matter.

Renee Good was kind. Renee Good was polite and attempted to de-escalate a situation that she knew was dangerous. And Renee Good was shot in the face by a man who found her infuriating simply because she existed.

It’s not being investigated, and the murderer is not being prosecuted. But people are raising funds for his legal counsel despite the world having seen the unjustified execution of a civilian. This is the world we live in now, and politeness isn’t a protection anymore.