Quiet Clarity Emerged When My Whole World Fell to Pieces

I learned something about my priorities.

11 min read

Just now

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There have been a few times in my life when it felt like everything was falling apart … and I, with it. But this time, my life has genuinely fallen apart in so many ways, and a quiet clarity has arisen. It’s not that I’m coping particularly well this time. I’m not. It’s just that the challenges that I’m experiencing are heightened to the point that I’ve had to make hard choices about what matters and what doesn’t. I’ve had to stick to those decisions and soldier on, even when I desperately want to lie down for a week and let the world get on with things without me.

Truly, my life has become a massive comedy of errors. Yesterday, the entire day seemed to collaborate against me. I know that’s not what happened, but it felt that way. One of my cats jumped down from the window in the wee hours of the morning and landed claw-first on my nose. I woke up to blood running down my face from a two-inch-long scratch.

Then, I went to make coffee. I chose a heavy mug. I put it on the flat surface of my Nespresso machine to percolate. I walked over to get creamer and came back to the mug off the base and coffee pouring all over my counter, defying the laws of physics entirely. A couple of hours later, finally caffeinated, I was using a curling…