I Didn’t Hate Men — I Hated the System That Protected Them

Learning to name the real problem without losing my compassion

Dr. Beenish Shakeel

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For a long time, people assumed my anger had a target: the men’s community.​ Whenever I spoke about injustice, silence, or damage, someone would say, “Why do you hate men so much?”

But in reality, it wasn’t the truth.​

I didn’t hate men. I hated the whole system that kept excusing them, protecting them, and privileging them.​

When Silence Was Framed as Strength​

I grew up studying that those women who are genuinely good are those who keep forgiving and quiet. When something felt unfair, I was always forced by society to adjust, instead of being encouraged to do so.​

“Let it go.”

“Don’t create drama.”

“He didn’t mean it.”​

I took into account a second whilst a male class fellow spoke over me in an assembly, repeated my concept as his own, as I had discussed with him a few days before, and received a reward for it.

When I referred to it later, I became informed that I was being too touchy, and he must have had his own concept. That label accompanied me everywhere.​