THE FUSE

Many people come into therapy with a desire to talk about the present: the promotion they didn’t get, the stress they feel as parents, their frustration with that friend they can’t stand but are still keeping around. But mostly, they want to talk about their relationships. What’s wrong with them, how to make them better, confirmation that they are in fact not crazy and that it really isn’t a lot to ask of their partner to do (insert task here). Often, as I patiently listen to their concerns, I ask a few clarifying questions about how they grew up: What kind of relationship did your parents have? What role did you play as a child in your family? What attracts you in a partner?