Chaplain Lesson 15: I Couldn’t Save You

2 min read

Just now

There are moments in life when we carry a deep sense of regret believing we could’ve done more, prayed harder, or said something different to change the outcome. Sometimes that guilt weighs heavy because what we thought was moral, what we thought we had the power to fix… simply didn’t work.

We often hold tight to the scripture that says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Many of us have used that verse to justify why God should respond to our prayers believing that if we just speak life, something miraculous will happen. But what happens when our expectations don’t align with the will of God?

That’s where frustration creeps in not just with ourselves, but with the Holy One. Because we did everything “right,” we followed the sacred text, and still… the outcome didn’t change.

As chaplains and as people we wrestle with that haunting thought: “I couldn’t save you.”

We know we aren’t fixers. Yet, when we form bonds with those we care for, watching them slowly lose their strength or hope hurts deeply. But one of the hardest lessons in spiritual care is this: we can’t take people home with us.

If we try, we’ll find ourselves drowning in the same pain we were called to help ease.

Our sacred work is to stand beside, pray over, comfort through, and release. Just like Moses led the people as far as he could before Joshua took them to the Promised Land, chaplains must learn when it’s time to release those we care for back into God’s hands.

This isn’t abandonment it’s trust. Trust that our presence, prayers, and compassion were enough for that moment.

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So, chaplain, give yourself space and grace.

Release the guilt.

You were never called to save only to serve.

Hold space, offer care, and then let go knowing your love did its part.

Signing off,

Thee Millennial Chaplain ✨

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