I’m Glad I’m Selfish.

I remember the moment I broke up with someone, they tried to soften my “no”.

Saying that I’m a “sweet” person, before pleading their case for access again. It could’ve been completely genuine. But it reminded me of the role that I was playing, that I could never hurt anyone.

So how dare I break up if it hurts him?
And where the hell was I considered of in all of this?

Whenever I remove access, I’m blamed.
When I refuse to give the level of access others want, I’m still blamed.
I’ve also received false declarations that they care about me, to soften up my boundary.

Imagine sharing intimacy with someone who can’t respect your “no” the first time.

When I moved into a better apartment in a big city, my dad said I was “selfish”.

My parents were helping me move and were in awe. They were proud of me, and I remember my mom saying she’s never lived in a place like this before, and my dad saying that I was “selfish”. That women these days were career focused and if they ever got married, it would be hard for the husband.